


Sleepless Night

by dancingswanprincess



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, RvB Angst War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 16:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14024136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingswanprincess/pseuds/dancingswanprincess
Summary: Church has a nightmare that Tex died...but it just feels so real, he ends up at her door. Just in case she's not okay.





	Sleepless Night

_“There’s been another incident, security failed.” The Director’s voice, and Alpha felt his stomach drop._

_**Shit.** Shit, shit, goddammit, not again! He’d gone over everything and accounted for every outlying variable he could think of. Had he done the calculations wrong? No, no, he couldn’t have when he’d been triple checking everything. But he did have particular trouble with one thing this time around._

_“I-Is it the schematics? They’re just- they’re too complex – I just need more…time to work on them.”_

“It’s not your fault.”

_“How can you say that? Of **course** it is!” Alpha barely resisted the urge to hang his head. Maybe…maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe this time, everyone had come out okay. But the fact that the Director was talking to him, instead of just have the Counselor deliver news, didn’t bode well. “Was anybody hurt?”_

_“I’m sorry, yes. Washington and another died.”_

_Alpha went stock still. Dead…sometimes people would end up injured but dead? Had he really fucked up so badly that two people had **died?** In the millisecond that followed, Alpha ran through what he could remember of Washington – towards the bottom of the leaderboard, noted as having friendships with Agents Maine, York, North, and Connecticut. God…Washington was dead because Alpha forgot some variable, and that factor **killed** him. And the other person…he had to know who else died because of his mistakes._

_“Who?” He looked up, as if he’d finally see the Director’s face instead of the bright lights that had always glared down at him._

_“I can’t say.”_

_“Who? Who died?” If Alpha had hairs on the back of his neck, they’d be standing straight up. Something was wrong, something was very, **very** wrong. Why wouldn’t they just tell him?_

_“Agent Texas.”_

_Time always moved slower for Alpha, but now it seemed to slow to a crawl as he processed. Agent Texas. It couldn’t be her, anyone but her. Please, God, anyone but **her.** He felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest, like there was some part of him that had been yanked away, leaving a gaping wound that he wasn’t sure he could heal. He had to fix this, but there was no way he could fix this; Texas was **dead.** Dead, dead, dead because of him. _

__**“NO!”** _ _

__

__

Church bolted up in bed in a cold sweat, woken up by his own voice echoing around the room. His shaking hands clutched the crappy blue blanket on top of him, feeling like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. _Just a dream, just a dream._

_But it felt so real._ Some small voice at the back of his head said.

_It always does._ He shot back, staring at the blank wall across from him. Besides, it was getting better, he was already feeling the nightmare’s details slip away. Why the hell did his dreams _always_ do that? And who the hell was that voice talking to him? He’d heard somewhere that everyone you heard or saw in a dream only shows up there because you’ve heard or seen them before. He tapped his finger anxiously against his leg for a second before forcing himself to stop. No need to freak out, it was over.

But no matter how many times he convinced himself it was over, no matter what details of the nightmare slipped away from him, he couldn’t forget the pain when they said ‘Agent Texas’. The way it felt like there was a piece of him ripped out, and the rest of him was collapsing around the absence. Because they had to wrong, whoever the hell they were. She wasn’t dead, she was _Agent Texas,_ she couldn’t die. He couldn’t lose her.

_That’s clingy as fuck._ Church laid back down, pulled the blanket up over himself but he didn’t feel any warmer. Fucking bullshit Blue Army and their bullshit blankets that couldn’t stop him from shivering even in a goddamn canyon. Maybe he just needed to walk around for a little bit…yeah, that sounded good. He threw his blanket off, and got out of bed.

Church didn’t even realize where he was going until he ended up in front of Tex’s door.

She was definitely asleep – it was God-knows-what-o’clock in the morning, and it’s not like a stupid-ass dream was worth waking her up over. Besides, it would just make him look desperate and why the hell was he over here anyway? She was a goddamn super-soldier, better than he’d ever be even without her freaky secret Freelancer training, the last thing he needed to do was check on her. However, his body seemed to have a mind of its own, and Church heard the _knock-knock_ of his hand against her door.

He was simultaneously embarrassed and relieved when the door opened. She was okay, totally fine. Not a hair out of place, like always. Except now he needed to come up with a reason for him to be there, and his mind went blank. All he could focus on was the fact that knot that had been in his stomach since he woke up was untying, and he felt like he could really breathe again. Tex was safe.

“…Church?” She yawned and attempted to blink the sleep out of her eyes. “What d’you want?”

“Um…” For a millisecond, he considered telling her the truth. That he’d had a weird-ass nightmare and he didn’t really remember all of it but he knew she’d died and then he’d just ended up standing at her door in the middle of the night. He immediately shut that thought down – not like she’d care. She’d probably just make fun of him for it or something. “Nothing. Just forget it. Go back to sleep.”

She just stared at him for a minute through squinted eyes, as if she was going to call his bluff, but shrugged. “Whatever, nerd.” Tex shut the door, and Church could hear the groan of her mattress as she crawled back into bed.

Church felt the fatigue returning to his limbs – turns out having a nightmare really wore a person out. He trudged back to his own bed, only to spend another hour staring at the ceiling. As he tossed and turned, his brain kept shoving that horrible idea from his nightmare back at him, the idea that she was dead and not coming back…because of him. As much as they bickered back and forth and got mad at each other, she’d seemingly always been there in one way or another.

He didn’t want to think about what it would be like if she were suddenly gone.


End file.
